First off, one of the things I said I’d do with this BLOG is be honest and forth coming with my stories. Some may be boring as hell and others just plain silly, but what I had hoped they would do would be to generate some dialogue between me and you, the few readers of the blog. So how about letting me know you’re out there reading this thing by adding your comments to the bottom of the stories I post. Relate your memories and we can share a good laugh.
ALCOHOL-remember the days when you could drink alcohol like you were a fish..a fish that lived in an alcohol pond. Now mind you I in no way condone any of the behavior I displayed back in those youthful days and I, on more than one occasion, drank to excess. I was foolish and I know it…but DAMNIT if it wasn’t FUN!!
I’m sad to say I can remember the first time I got completely hammered…how pathetic is that? It was after I arrived in Germany-now that isn’t to say I didn’t have a couple of beers here and there during my High School years because I did, but I really don’t remember ever getting “drunk”. Maybe that’s my problem I don’t remember getting drunk because I was so wasted…no I don’t think so..we’ll maybe…oh never mind.
Now here I am a silly little 18 year old, fresh out of basic training and at my first duty assignment in Stuttgart Germany. A friend and I decide to go to the NCO Club on base…I mosey on down thinking I’m COOL because this is in all actuality my very first time in a “BAR”.
SO my friend Jeff asks me what I want, I said a beer. He asked what kind of beer? What kind? What’s that mean? He then rattled off different names. You mean there are other beers out there besides that CRAP Miller I was drinking in the woods with my friends. Well GOLLY, didn’t I just feel like Gomer Freaking Pyle! So I think I ordered a Miller ;) and sat down like the man that I was at the BAR! That’s right I was a MAN Damnit-any girls want a sampling of the MAN sitting at the bar drinking a beer? I surveyed the club, damn it just a bunch of soldiers drinking beer and playing pool, all trying to look like MEN!
So my friend, who obviously was an experienced drinker, suggests we try something else. OK I said-OK? OK? Two very stupid letters that I said way too much in the 80s and they always seemed to get me in a whole heck of a lot of trouble-this night was no exception.
I have no clue now and let him suggest a drink for me-damn, this sounds more like I was his date, or his bitch or something. Any way he says I’d like 7 and 7..OK I said…There I go again…can’t I just keep my mouth shut.
Now when I tell this story I usually like to embellish it by saying I drank 20 7 and 7’s, but we all know and inexperienced boy, who was trying real hard to look like a man, is in no way shape or form drinking 20 shots of whiskey. So I’ll say it was 10 but I’ll bet you it was no more than 5 or 7.
I drink my drinks like a man, announce my intentions to relieve myself, you know the old “I gotta take a piss” line. Now girls, you have the old I gotta powder my nose line, when what you’re really going to do is take a big old dump. At least we announce our true intentions. I walk into the bathroom where I proceed to projectile vomit all over the third to last stall. Hey I puked standing up like a man damn it..like a man!!! I then proceeded to sit down on the floor in same said stall, in the same said yucky yuck that just left my body via my mouth and could not get up I was so drunk. Oh this is freaking dignified-here I was a real MAN!
After what was probably a really long time I managed to pull myself up off the floor, stumble out of the club and back to the barracks, where I apparently passed out outside the door. Obviously I was found, a brought to my room where I slept for the better part of two days (at the time we worked 4 on and 4 off 12 hour days so I wasn’t missed I happened to be on my 4 off days) I woke up from this drunken stupor and vowed NEVER to drink again…I’ve made that vow to myself at least 100 times since then...BUT one thing for sure I have NEVER had even a sip of whiskey since then.
Now I don’t want any of you reading this to think Geezz Pottsie is a raging alcoholic…my life certainly isn’t about getting drunk, cause I’m HIGH ON LIFE MAN! (Oh Brother) but I relay this story because of the sheer pathetic nature of it. There was a lot of innocence here and naivety..and a whole lot of STUPIDITY. Could I have possibly learned my lesson early on and avoided these “momentary lapses in judgments” Sadly, NO…it was Germany and what’s Germany famous for? THE OCKTOBERFEST! OMG-just a few short months after this I was carried from the beer tent back to the bus because I was being a man drinking beer at the fest. One minute I was omm pah pahing with the band, and the next I’m passed out on the tour bus wearing Lederhosen. Damn those Germans and their delicious Beer!
Slowly my 18 year old mind began to grasp the “too much alcohol makes you forget things” rule that they some how forgot to teach me in high school. Thank goodness I didn’t have a car back then, I’m not saying I would have driven, ok yes I am I’m saying I would have driven…so thank goodness I didn’t have a car back then.
So I learned my lesson, and certainly have learned to NEVER drink to excess…maybe to the edge, but I’ve stepped over that line and never really liked what was on the other side. I’m happy on this side of the edge-the one were a man should be.
Next time-THE EVIL DEAD and SALEM’S LOT
hay!!
good project :)
senks :)
Posted by: FreeStoring | December 11, 2007 at 05:26 PM
Great post Pottsie!
Has anyone ever said "never again" and meant it? I've heard it many times (from myself included - several times) but never has "never" been NEVER. hehe
Posted by: Damien | April 28, 2007 at 11:13 PM